The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel.
Beer required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture.
Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.
The wheel was invented to get man to the beer and vice versa. These two were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:
1. Liberals.
2. Conservatives.
Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.
Other men who were less skilled at hunting (called 'vegetarians' which was an early human word meaning 'bad hunter') learned to live off the Conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hairdressing. This was the beginning of the liberal movement.
Some of these liberal men "evolved" into women. Others became known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that Conservatives provided.
Over the years Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass for obvious reasons.
Modern Liberals like special flavored beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine spritzers or imported bottled water. They like their beef well done, if eaten at all. Organic, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting evolutionary side note: many liberal women have higher testosterone levels than their men. For recreation they like to yoga, yell at the sky, and protest everything as "unfair".
Most college professors, social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, film makers in Hollywood, group therapists and community organizers are liberals. Liberals meddled in our national pastime and invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.
Conservatives drink real beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are members of the military, big game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, engineers, corporate executives, athletes, airline pilots, and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other Conservatives who want to work for a living.
Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when Conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.
Here ends today's lesson in world history. It should be noted that a liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to this post.
A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be shared immediately to other true believers and to just piss-off more liberals.
And there you have it. Let your next action reveal your true self, I'm going to grab a few beers and grill some steaks! Right after I forward this message.
Car
One day after Abrams gave the Democratic rebuttal to President Donald Trump’s State of the Union address, the Fox News host downplayed her speech, but called attention to the Foreign Affairs piece as “far more interesting” for those who “want to understand what the Democratic Party seeks for this country.”
“By embracing identity … Americans will become more likely to grow as one,” quoted Carlson, from a phrase found at the end of Abrams’ article.
“Ponder that, the less we have in common, the more united we will be,” Carlson said. “Is that true? Of course not. It’s absurd. Even Stacey Abrams doesn’t really believe it. Nobody does. Abrams doesn’t even bother to defend that premise, much less explain how exactly identity politics will unite this country.”
The Fox News host contended that Abrams isn’t interested in “united,” but rather “bitter division.”
The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s daughter, Bernice King has written a letter in support of legislation proposed by President Donald Trump.
Hill was subsequently criticized for making the reference:Jemele Hill, a staff writer at The Atlantic, tweeted Tuesday that instead of shouting “whose mans is this”, as one tweet suggested, Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) should shout “GETCHO HAND OUT MY POCKET.”
The joke here is that AOC should have participated in the assassination of the president https://t.co/p6YQiiLdLe— Alex Griswold (@HashtagGriswold) February 6, 2019
Hill has been a known anti-Trump figure and was fired from ESPN for unprofessional conduct. Apparently, this is the new form of journalism.Tweeting learn to code gets your account suspended while this is just good old fashioned journalism I guess. https://t.co/kbAcZQ2t3I— Stephen Miller (@redsteeze) February 6, 2019
