Michael Schaus | Dec 18, 2013
controversial about Santa Claus, given the recent furor over his skin pigmentation. (Because, ya know, early Catholic Bishops and German folklore characters are traditionally such a multicultural crowd.) But, my controversial comment about old Saint Nick has little to do with his racial identification. You see, I have given it many hours of thought (no… I have no life), and I am convinced that Kris Kringle is (undoubtedly) a member of the Republican Party.
Wait! Hear me out! He may not be a Gadsden-flag-waving member of the tea party, but he definitely belongs to the NRA and votes a solidly Republican ticket. (He might have voted for JFK once, but that was primarily because of Kennedy’s tax policy.) Here’s the reasoning:
For starters, the Jolly Old Elf decided to set up shop in one of the most barren, and desolate, corners of the globe. (No… I’m not talking about Detroit.) In addition to the Arctic’s plentiful supply of recoverable oil, it has advantages that would - stereotypically speaking - be attractive to Republican businessmen: It’s basically one freezing cold tax haven.
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It seems apropos to mention something Wait! Hear me out! He may not be a Gadsden-flag-waving member of the tea party, but he definitely belongs to the NRA and votes a solidly Republican ticket. (He might have voted for JFK once, but that was primarily because of Kennedy’s tax policy.) Here’s the reasoning:
For starters, the Jolly Old Elf decided to set up shop in one of the most barren, and desolate, corners of the globe. (No… I’m not talking about Detroit.) In addition to the Arctic’s plentiful supply of recoverable oil, it has advantages that would - stereotypically speaking - be attractive to Republican businessmen: It’s basically one freezing cold tax haven.
READ
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